Why do I say this? Well, let me tell you. Overall today was a good day, and it's almost over. That's the good part, but I have a dilemma of some conflicting thoughts, and it brings me back to something my Psychology professor once asked us in one of her very first lectures... "When this question is posed which of these do you generally tend to do? Do you do what you SHOULD do more often, or do you do what you WANT TO do more often?"
It's really a most interesting thing to ponder. I would imagine that many people go through life constantly doing what they SHOULD do. My question to any of them would be this... are you truly happy? My guess is that about 90-95% of them are not happy with their lives that way. She also said that the happiest people are the ones who do what they WANT TO do... simply because then you're living your life for YOU, not for anyone else, and you own the decision, therefore you will feel no resentment toward the person or thing that you did that you really never wanted to do anyway. Therein lies my dilemma today, and I often go through this sort of thing, which in the world of psychology they call "cognitive dissonance".
By definition cognitive dissonance is your brain conflicting between 2 things... it can be any 2 things... let's make it very simple. Take food choice for instance. You can have the tasty cheeseburger and ice cream, which is what you REALLY want, or you can choose to have the grilled chicken and rice, which is a much healthier choice, but at that moment it sounds about as good as eating a cardboard box. Now your brain has 2 thoughts that are conflicting.
I'll be the first to say that I more often than not choose the "want to" side... probably about 75% of the time, and sometimes that gets me into trouble, especially considering my line of work. In the military you mostly do what you're told, which results in doing what you "should" do. Most of those things... I deal with and press on just like everyone else. There are those few times, however, that I go against the grain and do something else instead. Just in the past 3 days there have been 2 such instances, and I'm quite certain they have not gone unnoticed by my supervisors.
Saturday was our end of month party/awards thingy... and it was my day off. Therein lies an obvious conflict, but add to it that the time to talk to my wife on Skype was right in the middle of the party time! Now we really have a problem don't we? So... I had already made up my mind not to go... and I didn't go. There have been no consequences as the event was not mandatory... however... it was brought up to everyone by the commander himself that although these things are not mandatory everyone who is not engaged in WORK is to be there. No mention was made of those who had the day off... but it's one of those gray areas if that makes sense.
The second thingy was today... it was a promotion ceremony, which is not mandatory per se. BUT... it was expected that if you were "not doing anything... for instance sitting on scope" then you were expected to be there. Well... after sitting basically 2 shifts today... I decided my workout was more important than the other thing, and I didn't get back in time to go. EVERYONE was gone, too! I was even told that people were asking where I was at there... which is a pretty good indication that I could be in some kind of trouble come tomorrow. Luckily I will probably be able to avoid it at least until Wednesday, since tomorrow is my 4 hour day, and I don't go in until 2:30 PM. I'm willing to accept whatever it is that comes my way. I made a conscious decision to do what I did knowing full well it could contain some, albeit minor in the whole scope of things, consequences.
So again I ask... do you do what you want to do, or do you do what you should do??? There are few things I can rate higher in my life at this time than 1. Time with my wife, which is really what helps the most to get me through my days here. And 2. Working out... because being fit and STAYING fit is extremely important not only for my health but for my being able to retire from the Air Force in less than 2 years. The 3rd thing... which is really #2 for me when I'm at home is school... which I am not doing over here simply because I don't feel like I have the time or the energy for it.
These are the things foremost on my mind tonight as I get ready to turn in for the night and catch up on some much needed sleep. So... keep in mind... I've been told nothing of any "punishment" or anything like that... just thinking it's a possibility... and my day overall was a VERY GOOD one! :) I don't want to remove the positive things from this fine Monday... Take care and maybe I'll post more in the morning, since I will have the time. :)
I leave you with this to ponder the next time you arrive at a point in your life where a decision causes you "cognitive dissonance". Will you do what makes YOU happy... or will you do what makes others happy?
Peace, Love, and Poker
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